i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
