thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize