Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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