I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
being pregnant is like rehab
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
