There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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