Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
