Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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