don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
