so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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