those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
