I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize