He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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