My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
