Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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