hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
