I accidentally had phone sex last night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
