I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
