In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
