Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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