i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
