You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
