I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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