i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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