ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
4 words: hood of his car
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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