Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
