im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i now understand why vodka
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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