They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
