she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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