i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
