We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
