Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
