ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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