I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize