Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I puked a lego.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
