I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
