U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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