we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize