My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
cat food counts as protein by the way
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My feet surprised me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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