I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
