He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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