I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
