she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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