genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
