the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
