guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
