I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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