RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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