Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
