Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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