really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
