The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize