It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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