We're facebook friends in real life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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