yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
