We're facebook friends in real life
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out