he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage