that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder