im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
