Say something about gay babies.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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